I’m an infant sleep coach… and my kids go to bed at 5pm

No, I’m not joking. Yes, I still have friends.

Let’s just start with the headline confession: I’m an infant sleep consultant, and my two children go to bed at 5pm.

Yes, five.
Five. PM.

Cue the shocked faces, the raised eyebrows, and the inevitable, “But… isn’t that too early?”

Short answer: No.
Long answer: Let’s talk about it, because bedtime is one of the most overcomplicated, emotionally loaded, socially pressured topics in parenting… and it really doesn’t need to be.

The bedtime pressure cooker

If you’ve spent any time on parenting social media, you’ll know there’s a lot of noise around the “right” bedtime. Apparently:

• 7pm is sacred

• 6pm is “too early”

• 8pm is “too late”

• And anything outside that range means you’re either too strict, too soft, or ruining your child’s future sleep forever 🙃

Let me say this gently but clearly: there is no universal bedtime.
No magical hour that works for every child, every parent, every family, every season of life.

The best bedtime is the one that works for your child and your family - and that might change over time. And that’s okay.

So… why do my kids go to bed at 5pm?

Here’s the honest, real-life version - no filters, no Pinterest perfection:

✨ They were ready.
Their bodies naturally leaned toward an earlier bedtime. I didn’t force it. I followed their cues. When your toddler starts melting down at 4:30pm like their whole world is ending because their banana broke in half, that’s your sign.

✨ I’m an early riser.
I genuinely love slow, calm, connected mornings. No rushing. No yelling. No bribing with snacks. Just everyone waking up rested and happy (or at least not feral).

✨ I’m a single mum.
Evenings alone are not selfish - they’re essential. That time helps me regulate, recharge, and show up as a calmer, more patient mum the next day.

✨ I run a business.
Those quiet evening hours are when I support families, answer messages, create content, and work - without someone asking me for a snack every 3.7 seconds.

✨ I still have a life.
I go to dance classes and socialise with friends. Yes, really. And yes, Grandad “babysits,” which mostly involves sitting on the couch while everyone sleeps. Absolute win.

✨ Most importantly… it works beautifully for us.
Not perfectly. Not magically. Just realistically, sustainably, and peacefully.

Let’s talk about bedtime pros and cons - because there’s no perfect option

Instead of asking “What’s the right bedtime?” a better question is:
What are the pros and cons of different bedtimes for my family?

Let’s break it down - without judgment, without guilt, and without pretending there’s one correct answer.

🌙 Pros of an earlier bedtime

1. Better sleep quality for many children
Overtired children often sleep worse, not better. An earlier bedtime can prevent cortisol (stress hormone) from taking over, leading to fewer night wakings and earlier, more settled sleep.

2. Happier evenings
If your child melts down every evening, refuses dinner, fights bath time, and becomes a tiny rage monster around 5–6pm… an earlier bedtime can transform your evenings from chaos to calm.

3. More predictable mornings
Earlier bedtime = earlier wake-up, yes - but often more peaceful wake-ups. Many families find mornings become smoother, calmer, and more connected.

4. Time for you
This is huge. An earlier bedtime gives parents space to breathe, rest, work, connect, exercise, or stare at the wall in silence - all valid forms of self-care.

5. Supports parental wellbeing
Well-rested parents cope better. Full stop. Less yelling, more patience, better regulation - not because you’re a robot, but because you’re not exhausted.

🌙 Cons of an earlier bedtime

1. Less evening family time
If one parent works late or siblings have after-school activities, an early bedtime might reduce shared evening time - and that matters.

2. Social scheduling can be tricky
Dinner invitations, family gatherings, events - early bedtimes can sometimes feel limiting or awkward to navigate.

3. Very early mornings
Some children will wake earlier with an early bedtime (though not always). If your child is waking at 5am and you’re not a morning person, that can feel rough.

4. It might not suit your child
Not all children are early sleepers. Some genuinely do better with a later bedtime - and forcing early sleep can backfire.

🌙 Pros of a later bedtime

1. More evening connection
Later bedtimes allow for more family time, shared meals, play, cuddles, and connection after work or school.

2. Easier for working families
If one or both parents work late, a later bedtime might be the only way to get meaningful time together during the week.

3. Later wake-ups (sometimes)
Some children sleep later when bedtime is later - which can be helpful for families who struggle with very early mornings.

4. More flexibility socially
Later bedtimes can make outings, dinners, and events feel more manageable without disrupting routines.

🌙 Cons of a later bedtime

1. Risk of overtiredness
For many children, a later bedtime = overtiredness = harder settling, more night waking, and more early rising (ironically).

2. Less parent downtime
When bedtime creeps later, parents often lose their only quiet time of the day - which can impact mental health, relationships, and energy.

3. Morning stress
If bedtime is late but wake-up time is fixed (school, daycare, work), mornings can become rushed, chaotic, and emotionally charged.

4. Sleep debt can build
Over time, consistently late bedtimes can create a sleep deficit - which affects mood, behaviour, immunity, and development.

So… what’s the best bedtime?

The best bedtime is the one that supports:

✔️ Your child’s sleep needs
✔️ Your family’s lifestyle
✔️ Your mental health
✔️ Your relationships
✔️ Your ability to function as a human being

Not what your friend does.
Not what TikTok says.
Not what that one parenting book insists.

Your home. Your rhythm. Your rules.

A gentle reminder…

If you’re feeling pressured, judged, or unsure about your child’s bedtime:

✨ You’re allowed to choose what works.
✨ You’re allowed to change it if it stops working.
✨ You’re allowed to ignore the noise.
✨ You’re allowed to prioritise your wellbeing.

There is no medal for exhaustion.
There is no prize for suffering.
There is only your family - and what helps you all thrive.

And if that means a 5pm bedtime?

Welcome to the club. I’ll put the kettle on. ☕💛

Danni x