The Powerhouse You Were Before Baby (Yes, Her) Is Still in There
There I was at 3:17 a.m., standing in the kitchen in mismatched socks, bouncing a baby who absolutely refused to believe night-time was for sleeping. Cold coffee in hand. Hair in what can only be described as a “postpartum nest.” And it hit me:
I used to negotiate salaries. I once ran a meeting on four hours’ sleep and a croissant. I wore heels on purpose.
Where did she go?
Motherhood has a way of quietly convincing us that the woman we were before babies -confident, capable, a little bit badass - has been replaced by someone who Googles “Is it normal if my baby won’t sleep unless I hum Coldplay?”
But here’s the truth no one says loudly enough:
She didn’t disappear. She evolved.
And sometimes, as mums, we need to consciously rediscover the powerhouse we were before - not to go backwards, but to move forward.
Once Upon a Time, You Were the Main Character
Before motherhood, you were the main character in your own life. You made decisions without factoring in nap windows. You left the house without a checklist that included wipes, snacks, backup snacks, and emotional resilience.
You had instincts. Confidence. Drive.
Then a baby arrived, and suddenly everyone had opinions:
“Don’t let them cry.”
“They’ll never sleep if you do that.”
“Just enjoy it.” (While you haven’t slept in weeks.)
Cue self-doubt.
Motherhood doesn’t erase your competence - it just overwhelms it with noise.
Sleep Deprivation Is a Confidence Thief
As an infant sleep consultant, I see this every day. Sleep deprivation doesn’t just make you tired - it chips away at your sense of self.
When you’re running on broken sleep:
You second-guess every decision
Your patience evaporates
Your emotional regulation goes out the window (hello, crying over a dropped spoon)
And slowly, quietly, you stop trusting yourself.
But here’s the plot twist:
The woman who figured out her career, her relationships, her life before baby? She’s still capable of learning new skills - including sleep.
You learned Excel. You learned how to drive. You learned how to keep a tiny human alive.
You can absolutely learn how to support sleep and your wellbeing.
Channel Your Inner Carrie (or Miranda… or Samantha)
Think of motherhood like a new season of Sex and the City - different storyline, same core characters.
Carrie energy: Reflective, curious, asking “Who am I now?”
Miranda energy: Practical, no-nonsense, Googling sleep schedules at 2 a.m.
Charlotte energy: Doing it “right,” worrying if you’re doing enough
Samantha energy: Desperate for autonomy, space, and a life outside being “mum”
All valid. All powerful.
Rediscovering your pre-baby self isn’t about going back to cocktails at midnight (unless you want to). It’s about reclaiming:
Trust in your instincts
Confidence in your decisions
Permission to prioritise your wellbeing
The Powerhouse Mindset in Motherhood
Here’s where the shift happens.
The powerhouse version of you:
Makes informed decisions, not guilt-based ones
Understands that rest is a need, not a reward
Knows that supporting sleep isn’t selfish - it’s foundational
When mums start sleeping better, everything changes:
Anxiety softens
Joy becomes accessible again
You respond instead of react
And suddenly, you’re not just surviving motherhood - you’re participating in it.
Funny But True: You’re Already Doing Hard Things
Let’s be real:
You’ve functioned on less sleep than you thought humanly possible
You’ve soothed a crying baby while desperately needing to pee
You’ve eaten meals standing up, over the sink, like a raccoon
If that’s not powerhouse energy, I don’t know what is.
The goal isn’t perfection.
It’s support.
Support for sleep.
Support for your nervous system.
Support for you as a whole person - not just a mum.
Moving Forward, Not Back
Rediscovering the woman you were before motherhood doesn’t mean rejecting who you are now.
It means integrating her strength, confidence, and self-trust into this new chapter.
You are still capable.
You are still allowed to rest.
You are still the expert on your baby - and yourself.
And maybe, just maybe, the next time you’re standing in the kitchen at 3 a.m., you’ll remember:
I’ve done hard things before.
I can do this too.
Even in mismatched socks.
Danni x